gregory_a_k

“What the bourgeoisie therefore produces, above all, are its own grave-diggers.”—Karl Marx

Friends?

Anthony - Jazz for JusticeSix years ago this month, my friend Anthony marched on Wall Street with Iraq Veterans Against the War, who came out to support Occupy Wall Street; later that night, Anthony died of an overdose. He’d been open with me about his use of allegedly illicit substances to deal with the PTSD that haunted him after the horrors he witnessed and was ordered to participate in while in Iraq.

The first time he showed me how fucked he had to get, and told me that he was going for treatment on and off, I was deeply worried for him. I stayed the night, watching movies and talking, and in the morning I rode with him over to the VA hospital when he went to get his treatment. I was definitely worried about him, and I spoke privately with a few of our mutual friend to see if there was some way we could help him, as he said he wanted to stop using.

I don’t condone, accept, and I certainly don’t want to participate in promoting the “Reefer Madness” level propaganda that any drug use is automatically “drug abuse.” Many cultures throughout history have used mind-altering substances, which are now promoted as being “illicit” and “criminal” by most current Western countries and imposed internationally to ensure continual “aid” from the US, further deepening its imperialist hegemony, domestically and abroad. What substances people decide to ingest, smoke, sniff, huff, inject, and/or eat should be a personal matter over which each individual has autonomy to decide.

If it becomes problematic for the individual, they should be offered compassionate assistance to stop, if that is what they want – temporarily or permanently, without propaganda-induced misconceptions, judgements, or haughty moralism. Furthermore, each person should be able to decide for themselves if the pain and suffering they are living with is more than they can bear, and if they choose to end their life it can and should be their right to make that decision.

We never really came to any great ideas on what we might be able to do to help Anthony, so I continued to just be there as a friend for him whenever he needed and I could be, because I also isolate myself a lot, dealing with the PTSD and after-effects of solitary confinement & prison generally, and childhood abuse. Whether Anthony’s overdose was intentional or accidental, I don’t know with any level of certainty. He no longer had to deal with the pain he suffered, that was one main point his partner conveyed to me, intimating that it was probably intentional – or at least that was what I understood her to be saying. He lived and died on his own terms.

That’s not to say it wasn’t difficult to deal with after I got the message that he was dead. And as weird as it might sound, his memorial and funeral were beautiful. There were a whole lot of tears, but his family just kept it real, about him and his life, his struggles with PTSD, all of it.

I never mistrusted him or looked down on him or condemned him for doing what he felt he had to do to survive. I didn’t jump up and run away, I didn’t go gossiping about his struggles to other people at art exhibits or cocktail parties. I didn’t tell anyone they shouldn’t trust him or talk shit about him behind his back.

Who would possibly do some shit like that to someone who is a friend?

Real friends are hard to find. Treasure them when you can. Much love to you, Anthony…


 

I’ve written a fair amount about the struggles I have, coming out of solitary confinement and prison period. Never been a secret. Just a couple weeks ago I spoke, along with several of my friends and fellow survivors, to prison doctors from across the nation. We all made it clear that we felt they were on the wrong side of history and were very reluctant to even be there, but we felt we should make the attempt to talk about how solitary affects us every day, especially since almost no one is doing any research on solitary’s effects and how to treat survivors.

That is why Brian Nelson and myself, survivors of many years in solitary  (we both grew up in prison…), along with Dr. Antonio Martinez, who has treated torture survivors around the world, are attempting to get funding for a 3 year pilot program group treatment for solitary confinement survivors. We don’t have the answers, but we are surviving and trying to find a way out, and struggling for those still being tortured behind those walls.

We’re killing ourselves doing this, reliving this shit every time, with next to zero help or concern from so-called “friends.” Time and time again, too many fake motherfuckers have used us, completely indifferent to the fact that the work we are doing is retraumatizing, don’t even check on us after talks, smiled in our faces when its cool but when shit gets hard to deal with disappear in the wind, refuse to tell us what they really think but then go gossiping to other mofos about shit behind our backs. Seriously, I’ve encountered more straight-up opportunists, unprincipled liars, “comrades” and so-called “friends” who are snaking us behind our backs among “the Left” than in prison.

Anyhow, just a word of advice for phoney “friends” who talk shit behind people’s back: The Streets have ears and eyes, and convicts move in all kinds of circles. And even if we have our differences, they won’t let people slander other people’s names and reputations when they know the real deal.

Just gotta keep tightening that circle up. I have had to cut a lot of phoney’s out over the last few years… And I’ve survived this far, definitely not a given. Shit, before I was even 18 years old the State wanted me out of the picture. Still here. Still fighting. 

-G

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Illinois’ 2017 Bill to Drastically Reduce Solitary Confinement Killed by Illinois Sheriffs Association Demanding to Continue Using the Torture Practice on the Mentally Ill

I was forwarded an email earlier this afternoon which purports to examine the “highlights” of 2017 legislation nationwide aimed at solitary confinement “reform.” Illinois was curiously missing from the list. Interesting story that I’ll lay out for your perusal to see how close to a lowlight the Illinois example is.

Condensing a lot of prefatory and background matters for brevity, for the last couple legislative sessions a bill to drastically limit solitary confinement in Illinois has been brought forward by Rep. LaShawn Ford, in consultation with a number of groups opposing solitary and mass incarceration more broadly.

One of the initial versions of said bill was primarily conceived and set in motion by a group in Illinois with next to zero connection to those currently in solitary in Illinois nor solitary survivors in Illinois. When a group of survivors became aware of this, including further details regarding said group bringing forth the bill preparing to cut a deal with Illinois sheriff’s to exclude them from the bill, among other unprincipled and opportunistic machinations, the solitary survivors had to step in and take over in order to stop unprincipled collusion with the State’s armed enforcers and to push the bill into a direction that those still behind the walls in solitary, their loved ones and other survivors could support. This bill, which was supported by many on the inside as well as survivors and other groups on the outside, was killed after one of the main collaborators with the Illinois Department of Corrections, a supposed “watchdog” group, entered into a backroom campaign to kill the bill on the absurd and ridiculous basis that “Illinois prisons are already too overcrowded; how could they possible let people out of solitary when the have no room?” Patently absurd and morally reprehensible – to condone and collude with state representatives to stop a bill that would have drastically limited solitary in Illinois and ensuring the bill would not pass and therefore thousands of brothers and sisters would continue to be tortured by the state of Illinois in solitary confinement. This groups annual fundraiser was subsequently protested by a group of solitary survivors and others.

The bill was then re-entered in 2017. As the bill moved toward having the support to have it passed, an associate of the Stop Solitary Coalition of Illinois spoke to a lobbyist for the Illinois Sheriffs Association, informing the sheriff’s of the bills’ advance and possible passing. After being informed about the bill, the Illinois Sheriff Association then colluded with various Illinois political representatives to have the bill killed – and killed explicitly on the barbaric basis that the sheriff’s had a statewide policy and practice of using solitary confinement to torture the mentally ill under their “care.” This policy was openly laid out in an article from the Illinois Times, a piece of s̶h̶i̶t̶ “journalism” which failed entirely to mention the fact that solitary confinement in excess of 15 days is considered torture under international law, nor the fact that the mentally ill are the one specific class of people that the United States Supreme Court has stated cannot be placed in solitary – see Madrid v. Gomez, which held:

The Court did find that it would violate the Eighth Amendment to subject prisoners who already had serious mental illnesses to prolonged solitary confinement, because such prolonged social isolation was very likely to inflict serious psychological pain on that subclass of prisoners. (PROLONGED SOLITARY CONFINEMENT AND THE CONSTITUTION, by Jules Lobel, 2008, in Journal of Constitutional Law Vol. 11 Issue 1, online at http://scholarship.law.upenn.edu/jcl/vol11/iss1/6/

Apparently such trivial matters are beyond the scope of a piece of “journalism” on the topic of solitary confinement; all you need to do is parrot the false and criminal claims of the Illinois Sheriffs Association.

But, in brief, that is a short history of Illinois’ failed bill to drastically reduce solitary confinement. Sold out from its inception by a group with no ties to those in solitary confinement, their families and survivors, who wanted to cut a deal with sheriffs to allow them to continue torturing people in solitary confinement; then, after there bill was entered the first time, sold out by a phoney prison “watchdog” group, then by someone formerly incarcerated tipping off the Illinois Sheriffs Association.

 


So, apologies for the delay in getting this written, and other things, but we’ve been dealing with a number of things… Recently, we somewhat reluctantly spoke at the American College of Correctional Physicians conference regarding solitary confinement. Brian Nelson, Monica Cosby, Afrika Lockett and myself as survivors made it clear we were there to let them know the real deal about the torture practice of solitary confinement.

Solitary Confinement Survivors ACCP 11-4-2017

Unfortunately I missed recording the beginning of Monica’s piece, but got most of the rest of the talk. Hard to do everything at once, without assistance… But we’ll keep doing it, cause no one else is. We’re currently raising funding to start our solitary confinement survivors group with Dr. Antonio Martinez.

Gregory Koger

Brian Nelson

Prison Liberation Collective

11-16-2017

 

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A Few Thoughts

We also need to be much more in tune with what’s going on nationwide behind the walls & connecting up with families & formerly incarcerated out here to really cohere a mass movement for prison liberation. We are working on getting some solid components to facilitate that in place…

I’ll have a lot more to say regarding all of this soon, hopefully. Trying to get the chessboard set up piece by piece… But we live with the effects of prison (& some of us solitary confinement) moment to moment, & we are tying to get some real preliminary treatment going as well.

Some of us who came straight out of solitary after years or decades, we grew up in prison & solitary. And we jumped right in to the struggle as soon as possible when we got out. That lead to political prosecutions & retraumatization of being sent back for our political work, too.

And it’s really sad for me to have to say this, but the overwhelming majority of peeps we’ve worked with out here do not have the faintest clue as to how all of this affects us – even after numerous attempts to explain it. So the only conclusion is that they consciously don’t care.

They’ve made conscious decisions to use us for their own agendas, taking advantage of our heartfelt sincerity about doing whatever we can to fight this system. And then when we live with & try to deal with the after-effects, they’re nowhere to be found.

Then they make excuses & fabricate pretexts to abdicate their responsibilities & utter failures to live up to treating & communicating with us as actual human beings, much less “brothers” or “sisters” or “comrades” – projecting their own unprincipled decisions & acts onto us.

Or invite police organizations to national organizing events re stopping police terrorism & mass incarceration, refuse to respond to detailed critique of it ahead of time, then try to sweep it under the rug & refuse to allow a principled discussion of it at the event, or ever.

 
Anyhow, I’ve made it through some ups and downs, had to recognize that opportunists who are not the least concerned about my own well being are much better off out of my life (and no longer distracting me and sucking my energy into played out, non-serious and frankly dangerously irresponsible theatrics), and some significant pieces of the strategic chessboard are moving into place. I’ll have more to say soon…
 
-G
 
Gregory & Brian motorcycles
 
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prototype ritual

Words

That 

Cannot 

Explain

Stand

 

Amassed

Behind

Ephemeral

Answers

Crying

 

Out

To

The

World

Beyond

 

Cells

Bars

Razor-wire

Pathways

Bleed

 

Ink

Upon

A

Page

Drying

Dying

 

Each

Moment

Breath

Hesitates

 

Still

Blood

Keeps

Pumping

 

Scrawled

In

Blood

I

Keep

Writing

 

Summoning

Forth

Torture

Induced

Pestilence

Posted in Thoughts

Overdue

Been overdue for some writing. I’ve been in another holding pattern, waiting for a couple things of major importance to my ongoing life that are dragging on for years – and there is next to nothing I can do to control or influence that situation (that I’m aware of…).

Feels like having a criminal case or being on paper (parole, probation, pretrial release) where I cannot make major decisions until these things are resolved. 

So I’ve kept on fighting, especially around solitary confinement. Though I have definitely stepped back from the level of being in the middle of and organizing so much shit like I used to.

I’m 39. I’ve done a fairly significant amount of shit in my life, particularly post-prison. Lots of ups and downs living with the aftermath of growing up in prison and solitary confinement particularly. Spent most of the last 10 years disregarding my own personal issues and situation to throw myself into the struggle against mass incarceration etc, went back to jail as a political prisoner, spent two weeks on hunger strike in Cook County Jail in solidarity with the California prison hunger strike in 2013 (as well as Guantanamo brothers on hunger strike. Organized demos and talks and panels and videos, faced down SWAT teams with assault rifles and tear gas in the streets of Ferguson, spoken in universities and high schools. Still so much to be done.

But I barely survive from day to day. I have no clue how to meet someone for a “romantic relationship” – though I seem to have better luck in that department in Tokyo, since I had 2 dates in the 2 weeks I was there last time… I don’t know how to go though a day without multiple triggers putting me back into prison, almost all of my references are from growing up in prison.

But I’m still standing. Still fighting. Still breathing.

Trying to figure out how to live and enjoy life in this despicable apartheid police state. How to go one day without remembering the days on end I spent in solitary. I find little that frightens me, but the prospect of trying to be vulnerable to love and touch, though I can never seem to make those connections anyway.

By yeah. I’ll go on finding my way to fight. Finding my way to live. Finding my way to shed a tear for the unlived life I’ll never experience. 

It gets tiring. I’m not interested in being 40. Been dreading this confrontation for a while.

Posted in Thoughts

Another Day

Every
Minute
I
Struggle
Against
Oblivion

 

Decaying
Slowly
Every
Moment

 

Time
Given
Taken
Served
Cold

 

Cells
Undying
Reproducing
Mirror
Torment

 

A
Boy
Unloved
Unfit
For
Society

 

Devoted
To
Death
And
Oppression

 

Built
Upon
Bones
And
Blood
Of
Millions

 

Others
Unfit
For
Society
Of
Cannibals

 

Of
Charlatans
And
Corpulent
Creatures
Crawling

 

Towards
Emptiness
Capital
A
Razor Wire
Net

 

Entangling
Us
All

 

Bled
To
Death
By
Dozens

 

Of
Lacerations
From
The
Belts
And
Cords

 

Beaten
Upon
A
Child’s
Flesh

 

By
Supposed
“Parents”

 

Who
Paid
Top
Dollar
To
Purchase
A
Bastard
Boy

 

Who
Refused
To
Submit

 

Now
A
Man

 

Raised
Among
The
Tombs

 

Of
Other
Dying
Criminals

 

I
Fear
The
Touch
I
Long
So
Much
For

 

Only
Bitten
By
Shackles
And
Manacles

 

Ensconced
In
Wafts
Of
Pepper Spray
And
Tear Gas

 

But
Never
The
Arms
Of
A
Lover

 

Yet
I
Trudge
On

 

Another
Day

Posted in Thoughts

For the Record

We’ve had two different groups of pigs stop us on two occasions today, both times searching through the car & tearing shit up with no probabale cause whatsoever.

The first dude, after saying he was going to give us a “warning” for going 85 in a 70 mph zone, goes back to his car, runs our records (both of us had multiple felonies – none drug related), talks to some mofos on the radio & then comes back and tells us he has to have K9 search the car, and searched me personally by pat down and then went into my pocket. I had, and we had, nothing illegal on our persons or in the car. We go sit in the other pigs car while he searches ours for quite a while, then he comes back, asks my homie if he can give him his Miranda warning & ask him some questions – which he agrees to. Asks about an axe in the back of the car the we use for camping. And then he lets us go, with a written “warning.”

We make it to Springfield for the IDOC hearing about 15 mins late due to this bullshit stop and search, find out they played games on that hearing again and canceled it for the second time in a row with no prior notice – and both times we had several carloads of peeps who traveled from Chicago to Springfield to make sure they didn’t pull some slick shit and to make sure they know and see that significant and growing groups of people are opposed to the state of Illinois’ use of the torture practice of long-term solitary confinement in the IDOC, along with some other more minor issues with the rule changes. 

Later on, as we are leaving Springfield, right after we get on the road some undercover pigs pull us over in an unmarked Toyota truck. We have an almost identical repeat of the prior stop, except we had done no traffic violations at all when they stopped us. They tear up the car again, with no probable cause search us both and the car, find nothing again and let us go – after asking several questions that had no relevance to the stop whatsoever. Not even a pretense of giving us a traffic “warning” on paper. 

Something very weird about both of those stops – the second one in particular. In the 10 years I’ve been out of prison, these are the first times I’ve been stopped & harassed by the police while driving in Illinois.  Just need to document this shit – for the record. 

We’ve got a lot of shit we’ve been working on coming together now, and these political predators want to snake our ass… Who could possibly spend a whole career based on lying and fucking with people – and with the intention of sending people to prison for years & decades for bullshit, many times completely fabricated?  Sick fucking people. And the fucking “war on drugs” is such an unprecedented human rights disaster – how many lives ruined, lost? How many billions of dollars that could have been used to actually do something of social value? 

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Confronting Torture in the United States: An Analysis of Solitary Confinement

Confronting Torture in the United States:
An Analysis of Solitary Confinement

Thursday, February 23, 2017
6:00 – 7:30 PM

Spanish Community Center
Joliet, IL

Panelists:

 

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Donate to the Prison Liberation Collective

We’re in motion – you can donate to the Prison Liberation Collective here

Prison Liberation Collective

www.ucimc.org/plc

PLC flyer

 

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six months ago in Tokyo

Six

Months

Ago

 

In

Tokyo

 

The 

Last

Time

 

That

I

Kicked

It

 

Kabukicho

Karaoke

Cocaine

Hostess

Bar

 

A

Hero

In

Hospice

 

With

Her

I’m

In

 

A

Wonder

Land

 

Where

You

Regurgitate

 

The

Bile-Covered

Eternities

 

Of

Solitude

 

In

Technicolor

Japanese

 

Neon

Shinjuku

Streets

Aglow

 

Allnight

I

Wander

 

Through

Alleys

Of

Pimps

 

Schoolgirls

Couples

Prostitutes

 

Colliding

Across

Asphalt

 

Across

The

Globe

 

From

Those

Cells

 

Within

Which

I

Was

Raised

 

City

Ancient

Yet

Most

Modern

 

The

Only

Home

I

Know

 

Every

Chemical

Combined

 

Erases

Each

Moment

 

Each

Breath

Reliving

 

Every

Eternity

Alone

 

 

Posted in Thoughts