Gregory Koger

Hahaha! Wow, I haven’t seen a movie in a theater since before I want to prison, so its been at least 13 years. And who would have possibly thought that the first movie I’d see in a theater would be… wait for it, you’ll never fucking guess Sex and the City *shudders*

Well that was the culmination of a great weekend, really the first time I’ve gotten out of the house (besides going to class) in over a month. Having no money kinda precludes you from doing anything… Anyhow, I went to a fun little anti-4th of July picnic in the city, and got to take a swim in Lake Michigan sans leg monitor. Well, if you call wading in 2 feet of water 10 feet away from the shore and a lifeguard “swimming.” But it was better than last year, cause in addition to having the leg monitor on I was on house arrest and had to be home at like 4pm I believe, so I barely had a chance to swim or even enjoy the picnic. This year I had more time for both, and had some good discussions.

Then Sunday I went to an event for Revolution newspaper, and had an opportunity to have some more great discussions and to get to know some of the comrades a little better. It looks like I’ll be able to get more involved, doing some work on the paper and website, so that will be a great opportunity. And then I went to the movie, primarily with the intention of getting a better understanding of what this cultural phenomenon represents and how it reinforces the commodity relations of capitalism.

Still haven’t heard any word on the parole situation. I have an interview for the writing tutor job my English professor recommended me for on Thursday, and I’m hoping that I hear the outcome of the parole situation before then. I haven’t been able to move forward or finalize any of my plans because they are all contingent upon whether or not I get off parole. I really can’t continue to stay in this living situation, but I have no money to get a place of my own. I wish I could live in Chicago, but the aforementioned lack of money precludes that for now, and the only other real option I have it to go down to Champaign-Urbana, where the cost of living is lower and I know some great people from the IMC. But I can’t move there unless I get off parole. And I don’t even know if I could move to Chicago while I’m still on parole.

So… everything is up in the air until I get the decision on parole. If I don’t get off parole, I’m pretty much stuck here in the vacuous wastelands of suburbia, but I should continue to get financial aid to attend my college and presumably may get the writing tutor job - which seems like a great opportunity. Then my PO would submit me again in December to get off parole, or so he’s told me. Ultimately, staying here another six months isn’t too bad, but I really can’t deal with this living situation. I wasn’t living with my adoptive parents when I was 15 years old, I damn sure don’t want to deal with this bullshit when I’m 30. But being on parole and having no money keeps me locked up here. My room is definitely a much better cell than the ones I’ve been living in for the last decade, though.

If I do get off parole, that still doesn’t really resolve the issues, I just have a few more options and can make a concrete decision about what the fuck I’m gonna do. I mean, even if I do get off parole I may end up staying here another six months or a year, doing the writing tutor job and going to this community college. But, I’d at least have the option of leaving here, trying to get a place in Chicago, going to Champaign, or just running away and joining the carnival More options available, still no money though, but I can make my fucking decision and move forward with it.

I’ve been stuck in this criminal in-”justice” system since I was 16 years old, either in juvenile detention, on probation, in the county jail, in prison, on house arrest or parole. Half my life - and all of my adult life - I’ve been caught up in this system. My one and only concrete, absolute goal or objective that I’ve had since I got out of prison has been to get off parole - not that I don’t have many other goals and objectives, this is just the most important and pressing one in the immediate term.

So now I continue to await the outcome…

UPDATE: 7-11-08 - Had my writing tutor interview yesterday. I think it went well, seems like a great opportunity. Both of the people who interviewed me and are in charge of the writing center said my prison past wasn’t a problem for them, but they still were waiting to hear from “higher ups” concerning the situation. They didn’t even ask me why I went to prison or any of the details of that. They still have a few interviews to finish and then make the final decision, which should come in about 10 days. Still no word on the parole situation either… More waiting!

Ah well, at least I’ve been getting the chance to get out some and do some revolutionary work. Supposed to get together with some comrades to work on a collective writing piece and also get the chance to do some other work for Revolution newspaper today. Its good to be able to get out some and have good discussions and thought provoking conversations, something sorely lacking in my life for so long. Not to mention having some kind of fun instead of sitting in my room all the time. Plus I’d like to have some friends and do stuff. Fucking money, I hate it… But enough of that, here’s to another weekend out and enjoying life some!