So we went downtown, and considering that it’s the iconic opening image from one of our favorite tv shows as kids - Married… with Children - surprisingly, my cousin had never been to Buckingham Fountain before.

Then we went to Millenium Park, and Jennifer and Jack got their feet wet in a fountain there, and they got to see the “Bean” for the first time. I saw it earlier this year, but here is a new picture of me in the Bean:

Then we went to Navy Pier, which none of us had been to before. The Air Show was going on later that day, so a lot of jets were flying over the city, and the boys loved those. I kept thinking of what those jets represented, and what it would be like to constantly hear the roar of those engines and know that death would soon be raining down in their wake…

Navy Pier is such a fucking corporate ad product placement vomitorium that the goddamn Ferris wheel there is plastered with McDonalds logos on each car, among many other places. But the view from the Ferris wheel is pretty nice.

I saw the Ferris wheel at night from the top of the John Hancock Center a couple weeks ago when I was out with some comrades, and it looked pretty amazing. I took a pic of the city from there, but it doesn’t have the Ferris wheel. Eh, this picture isn’t so great, the iPhone sucks at night pics - plus since the 2.0 update I lost the great hacked camera app that is sooo much better than the Apple one on the phone (please update that app for jailbroken 2.x firmware!). But it was a great view.

And I was over in Chinatown a few weeks ago, and took a pic of an amazing looking Nine Dragon Wall.

When I got home, I finally found out that I am going to get financial aid for my college, so that means I’m set for the next semester or two. Still don’t know about the writing job, so I don’t know if I’ll be a writer or a computer nerd this semester - well, primarily one or the other, since I’m always both, and many, many other things. But I’m either taking the writing center class with the job, or the Computer Science class if I don’t get it. So I’ll either be writing prose or code I’ll probably do a little of both either way, just focusing more on one or the other.

And I finally got a response from Apple on my iPhone Developer Program application I sent in several months ago when it was first announced. So I’m gonna have to get down to business with writing some apps and actually do some goddamn thing with my corporation and try to make some money to survive. That will actually turn out pretty nicely if I do the Computer Science class, since it will force me to get into some serious coding and software development. I suppose either way I’ll turn out pretty damn well.

Starting my second year of college, might get a writing job, probably will be doing iPhone software development, may get off parole in December, have made a few friends and comrades, and I’m doing a lot of really important revolutionary work. Almost hard to believe that a year and a half ago I was sitting in a segregation cell in Pontiac Correctional Center. Unfortunately that experience forms the majority of my life experience, so there is not really any “forgetting” it, and I’m still struggling to adjust and adapt to life outside of a concrete and steel cage. Plus there’s the whole “Not Having Any Money” thing (otherwise known as being broke as a joke). And the “Human Relationships” thing (otherwise known as the existential conundrum of being alone in a pointless universe and trying to make some meaningful human relationships).

I wish this society was different, that people related to each other as real human beings instead of isolated commodities whose only value is the immediate financial transaction or what you can “get” out of someone. That fucking money was irrelevant, that people didn’t have to sell their labor for meager wages just to survive. That we could spend our time accomplishing important things for humanity instead of producing relatively meaningless throw-away products. I wish the “educational” system existed for really educating people instead of indoctrinating them to fulfill the needs of capitalist corporations. I wish we lived in a world that I would be overjoyed and eager to bring another life into instead of dreading the experience that a child would have in this world. I wish we lived in a world where I actually meant something to society and had some value beyond being labeled a “dangerous criminal” that is devoid of humanity and needs to be locked in a cage for decades to further the agenda of police, prosecutors, judges, and legislators. A world where children were valued and a part of society instead of the property of their parents. A whole different world, a communist world. And that is what I’m struggling for.

Finally make a really cool friend, and now she is leaving… But there is important work to be done. Hopefully the human relationships don’t get forgotten in the process.

“The differences between friends cannot but reinforce their friendship”
- Mao Tsetung

Opposing this murderous rampage and campaign of intimidation and terror by the Chicago police is vitally important. To that end, a contingent marched this weekend in the Bud Billiken Parade, the largest African American parade in the United States.

A huge banner reading “Get in the Streets to Stop Police Terror! Indict - Convict - Jail the Killer Cops” was banned from entering the parade by parade organizers and police. A police sergeant stated that he didn’t want signs exposing and protesting the police shootings to “rile up the crowd.” Above is a picture of the banned sign, and below is a shot of the parade organizers and gang of police that stopped the sign from entering the parade.

Eventually the contingent was allowed to march in the parade, carrying and passing out 15,000 Revolution newspaper broadsheets with the headline “Chicago Cops Shoot 12, Kill 6 in 4 Weeks: Trigger Happy Police… and a Criminal System”, as well as posters of the victims. Perhaps unsurprisingly, the contingent was the only one in the entire parade to have four police ATVs “escorting” it the through the entire parade.

Many people in the parade threw up the fist and chanted along with the contingent calling for the indictment, conviction, and jailing of the killer cops. Others along the parade route were stopped by the police from entering and joining the contingent.

At the end of the parade, it started pouring rain, and people took shelter under a roof of a Citgo gas station. There was a massive police presence there, including numerous police on horses pushing through the crowd and several police wagons. After a period of time, the police announced to the people huddling under the roof to escape the torrential downpour that if they didn’t leave within 5 minutes they would all be leaving in the police wagons…

Having known that I’m stuck on parole for almost a month now, I still haven’t found out whether I’m going to get the writing job at my college or not. And I still don’t know if I’m getting financial aid to start classes that I haven’t even signed up for when the semester starts in less than 3 weeks. Not knowing if I’m going to get the writing job precludes me from signing up for classes, because the job requires a writing center class on Thursdays - and the Computer Science class that I’ve been waiting a year to finish up the goddamn make-up math prerequisites for overlaps the writing class on Thursdays. So, if I do get the writing job, then I can’t take the Computer Science class. If I don’t get the job, then I can take the CS class and probably Precalculus (or else College Algebra and Trigonometry). And math is my worst subject, relatively speaking.

Financial aid told me that they hadn’t sent me a letter concerning what amount of aid I would be getting because they don’t know if I’m taking full time or part time classes, and the reason I haven’t signed up for any classes (other than having the writing job and parole uncertainty) is because I didn’t know if I was getting financial aid to pay for them. Because I have no money and I can’t attend any classes if I don’t get financial aid, it seemed kind of stupid to sign up for classes and incur an obligation to pay over $1,000 when there’s no way I could pay it. So it basically has been this circular pattern of waiting - the school was waiting for me to sign up for classes, and I was waiting for the school to tell me if I was going to get financial aid before I signed up for classes. And I’m waiting for the college administration to decide if my prison past is going to stop me from getting the job that the supervisors of the Writing Center want to hire me for.

Aside from that, at least I’ve been getting out and doing some important work. Being stuck in this living situation though makes it difficult to be as involved as I’d like to be, as I have to travel back and forth, pay for gas, find a place to spend the night, etc.

But as far as the college situation goes, I can’t help but continually think that I’m wasting my time sitting in classrooms learning next to nothing - and certainly not accomplishing anything that is going to lead to the fundamental changes in society that need to occur. I could have learned far more in the last year if I had spent my time sitting in my room reading books the entire time, as I used to do in prison. The only real positive and beneficial aspects of attending college have been the opportunities to meet the few people that I have and interact with other people. Coming from over a decade in a prison cell and over six years straight in segregation, having some human contact and conversation is very welcomed and necessary for me to try to adjust to “regular society.” Other than that, I certainly could have learned far more on my own. But society is based on stupid pieces of dead trees that say you have this or that degree, that you’ve had these or those grades, and that you have certain connections or recommendations. For instance, the only reason I’m having the opportunity to get the writing job at my college is because my English professor my first semester recommended me for it (many thanks once again, Melany).

So, in terms of doing things in “regular society,” its kind of necessary (or at least helpful) to continue with the whole college thing. Plus, as my cousin has told me several times, its kind of dumb to stop going to college if they are paying for me to go there. And the writing center job really does seem like a great opportunity and is really about the only reason that I’m looking forward to the next semester in college.

However, there is more to all of this than simply “fitting in” with “regular society” on some level. First of all, I’ve been an outcast and an outlaw my entire life. “Society” never gave a fuck about me. I’ve never had much of any significant interpersonal relationships with anyone. The ruling class of this society felt that my only worth and use to this society was to be thrown in a prison cell for decades before I was even 18 years old. The parole board (none of whom have ever met me or spoken to me a day in my life) doesn’t want me to be off of parole, even though the only contact that I have with their institution of repression is through 5 minute monthly visits from my parole officer - who wanted me to get off parole, and is the only reason I had a chance to possibly get off within the last couple months and the only reason I may have that chance again in December. In fact, I wouldn’t even be sitting at this computer writing any of this right now if the original sentence I received from “society” had remained in effect - I would still be sitting in a prison cell until 2012 at the very least. And the only reason I’m out of prison now is because various laws I was sentenced under were passed unconstitutionally. Neither the police, prosecutors, or judge I had on my case wanted me to be here writing any of this right now. And to them I must extend a warm, sincere and heartfelt expression of my esteem: fuck you You can read some of the ruling class media coverage of my case here: People v. Koger Media Coverage . Needless to say, it contains numerous inaccuracies, but you can get some sense of what passes for “journalism” in this area: uncritically parroting police and prosecutorial propaganda without any investigation or question.

Beyond that, I’ve never held an “intellectual” job. I’ve never held much of any “real” job, even though I’ve been working in this capitalist economy since the age of 7 or 8. Unless you want to count the little “newspaper” (The Daily Bark) that I started and produced with my cousin Jennifer when I was about 10 years old. My adoptive parents are barely literate and held menial jobs their entire lives. I suppose the closest to an intellectual “job” I’ve had was when I first went to prison and got my GED - I received the highest score on the GED they had seen in many years and the GED teacher wanted me to be a teacher’s aid in the GED class. Now at that point, I was very much opposed to any form of working for the people that were holding me captive, but the teacher had been nice to me and I took the job for a few days because I respected him. I ended up going to seg for some shit within a few day of getting the job though. But anyhow, coming from a proletarian background and working as a manual laborer for the only jobs I have had, its rather unusual to go into a job such as this.

To use a phrase that I’ve been called out on recently, I don’t know. And the larger issues of my life beyond the immediate next few months are in a similar void of uncertainty. As far as human relationships go, I have met a few friends recently, which is good. But… despite some hope for more significant possibilities, here I sit, as usual, alone.

I want to just be able to push out forward into life, unburdened by these legal restraints and living restraints, and try to get started! Despite having no money, if I wasn’t on parole I could just leave, take a few of the meager possesions I have and head out on a journey into the unknown. I wouldn’t even fucking care, just go, walk or drive, take a bus or train or plane, but just fucking go and find out… Maybe the carnival still awaits me. But god-fucking-damn, I want to go, move forward, make some decisions and travel on.

UPDATE: 8-6-08 - Haha, of course… I won’t be finding out the outcome of the writing job before next week because the person who is in charge of HR has taken the week off for vacation. How convenient. So, now I either have to just sign up for a bunch of classes and then drop them if I get the writing job, or else wait till next week and then possibly find out that I’m not getting the goddamn job anyway and then be even further behind and possibly unable to get into the classes I need to. That is if the classes aren’t filled up already, right now.

You know, shit starts to look like its picking up, then just stalls out in another wave of uncertainty and unreached hopes. Oh, and I got an A in my Geometry class - pffft. This whole college thing is feeling like more and more of a joke.

- Signed up for my classes. If I get the writing job I’m probably gonna have to drop the Computer Science class, unless I can work something out with the instructors, becuase the CS class is from 1pm - 2:50pm Tuesday and Thursday and the Intro to Writing Center Theory and Practice class I have to take as part of the job is Thursday from 2pm - 4:45pm. Goddamn 50 minute overlap. Maybe I can just miss those 50 minutes, or randomly switch between which class I miss part of each week depending on whats happening in the classes.

So… now I have to see if/how much financial aid I’m gonna get, and if I’m gonna get this writing job. Having waited so late before the semester started to sign up has left me out of Precalculus, and the College Algebra/Trigonometry classes still open are both at night. So I will just skip math this semeseter - yay! At least now I may finally get into the Computer Science class, which has been basically the only reason I’ve taken the make-up math courses and why I initially wanted to even goto college period. I’m actually hoping that even if I do get the writing job that I can work it out with the instructors so that I can take both the CS and Writing Center class, and just do something about the 50 minute overlap.

Ah well, finally some amount of clarity on the next 4 months. Hopefully by next week I will know about the financial aid and the writing job. Then I’ll be pretty well set up for the next 4 months, and will then be waiting for December to see if I’m gonna get off fucking parole. But as to the longer-term future, damned if I know what the fuck I’m going to end up doing… I’m just moving through the best possible options that I have in the immediate term for now.

Once I get off parole though, I’ll have alot more options - I won’t be stuck in this living situation, I can conceiveably go anywhere on the planet and do anything I choose. Where the hell I want to go and what the fuck I want to do seem to be the long-term unaswered questions. And then I’ll have to once again address the existential questions underlying most of this shit. Significant revolutionary change is about the most concrete long-term goal that I know I am going to be working on, but the details and everything else are still uncertain.

Probably the most fundamental issue that I’ve struggled with my entire life is that of being alone. Alone in a pointless existence. Thus the many questions relating to that must be dealt with. Don’t think I’m any closer to answers on that one. Could be farther away from any answers on that than I have been. Dunno, experiences are tricky, I suppose they can push you father away and bring you closer to things at the same time. The multidimensionality of things is something I’ve come to accept and appreciate. But that doesn’t necessarily make things easier.

Ah well, I’ve been writing a lot here in the past couple days. Don’t know (yes I said it again) if any of this says anything or brings me any closer to understanding it, but at least I’ve been able to get some of my thoughts out. Maybe I need to get back into (ha, start?) my writing. Yeah, I’m a writer who barely writes anything

Interestingly, I was doing some stuff over by Haymarket Square, site of the 1886 rally by labor and anarchist groups. Beginning on May 1, 1886, strikes and rallies were held throughout the country to demand an 8-hour working day. In Chicago, on May 3rd, police opened fire on a crowd of strikers at the McCormick Harvesting Machine Co. plant, massacring 6 of the workers. The following day a rally was held at Haymarket Square. After several hours of a peaceful rally - a rally so peaceful that the mayor of Chicago himself was present - and as the last speaker was talking, police descended upon the rally. As the police rushed in to silence the speaker, an unknown person threw a bomb into the line of police. Once police officer was killed by the bomb, and the police immediately opened fire on the rally, injuring or killing an unknown number of civilians. In the aftermath, 60 police were injured and 8 killed - most by bullets from “friendly fire” from the other police shooting randomly and indiscriminately into the crowd of protesters. Eight anarchist leaders and organizers of the rally were arrested, charged, and convicted for the death of the police officer killed by the bomb thrown by the unknown assailant. All but one of the anarchists received a sentence of death. A controversial sculpture was erected at the site in 2004.

Anyhow, I got to work on Revolution newspaper! And I had some more great discussions, and saw the film Bastards of the Party. A powerful documentary by Cle “Bone” Sloan, a longtime member of the Bloods, the film traces the historical development of the Bloods and Crips from their predecessors in groups of black youths banding together in self-defense against racist white gangs in the 1940s, through the Black Panther Party in the 1960s, and their founding as “bastards” of the BPP in the early 1970s. The title itself comes from Mike Davis’ book City of Quartz (which my friend Brian recommended to me while I was in prison but that I haven’t had the chance to read yet).

Also, I found out that its possible that I could get a small apartment in Chicago for about $700 a month, which is considerably less than the $1,000 rough estimate of prices I’d heard and more feasible for me to possibly swing at some point in the relatively near term. So I might be able to live in the city after all. But I’m still waiting to hear the outcome of the parole situation, the writing tutor job, and whether I’ll get financial aid to continue going to this college. I’m hoping to get all of that answered by the end of this month, then I can get down to making my decisions about what the hell I’m gonna do within the constraints of having no fucking money…

Had a great time out this weekend though. It seems kind of straightforwardly obvious that getting out and talking to people and doing important work would beat being stuck in a room, but goddamn! I like being able to talk and have substantial discussions with people and maybe even having the opportunity to make some friends. I mean, yeah definitely I’d like to have some friends, but… with past experiences such as those I’ve encountered, and living my entire life alone and mainly devoid of any meaningful human contact, you get used to being alone and not having anyone to talk to or interact with. Plus you expect that any tenuous friendship or acquaintance will end at any time for any or no reason at all. So I don’t like to get my hopes up about interpersonal relationships. But I’ve gotten to know some cool people.

Well, the waiting continues…

UPDATE: 7-13-09 7:30pm: Parole Officer just came here - DENIED. I have the dubious distinction of being the first person he’s ever submitted for early discharge to be denied - lucky me. You know, not being in troube or arrested, not using drugs, doing a year on electronic monitoring house arrest, finishing a year of college and getting a 4.0 GPA, etc. etc. etc. just aren’t suitable characteristics for hardcore, dangerous multiple felons like me to be released into “polite society” without being subjected to State supervision and the possibility of being immediately returned to a prison cell without charges or trial for no reason at all. He said he’s gonna put me in again in December. So the decision has been made for me - stuck in this shithole for at least 6 more months…

Well that was the culmination of a great weekend, really the first time I’ve gotten out of the house (besides going to class) in over a month. Having no money kinda precludes you from doing anything… Anyhow, I went to a fun little anti-4th of July picnic in the city, and got to take a swim in Lake Michigan sans leg monitor. Well, if you call wading in 2 feet of water 10 feet away from the shore and a lifeguard “swimming.” But it was better than last year, cause in addition to having the leg monitor on I was on house arrest and had to be home at like 4pm I believe, so I barely had a chance to swim or even enjoy the picnic. This year I had more time for both, and had some good discussions.

Then Sunday I went to an event for Revolution newspaper, and had an opportunity to have some more great discussions and to get to know some of the comrades a little better. It looks like I’ll be able to get more involved, doing some work on the paper and website, so that will be a great opportunity. And then I went to the movie, primarily with the intention of getting a better understanding of what this cultural phenomenon represents and how it reinforces the commodity relations of capitalism.

Still haven’t heard any word on the parole situation. I have an interview for the writing tutor job my English professor recommended me for on Thursday, and I’m hoping that I hear the outcome of the parole situation before then. I haven’t been able to move forward or finalize any of my plans because they are all contingent upon whether or not I get off parole. I really can’t continue to stay in this living situation, but I have no money to get a place of my own. I wish I could live in Chicago, but the aforementioned lack of money precludes that for now, and the only other real option I have it to go down to Champaign-Urbana, where the cost of living is lower and I know some great people from the IMC. But I can’t move there unless I get off parole. And I don’t even know if I could move to Chicago while I’m still on parole.

So… everything is up in the air until I get the decision on parole. If I don’t get off parole, I’m pretty much stuck here in the vacuous wastelands of suburbia, but I should continue to get financial aid to attend my college and presumably may get the writing tutor job - which seems like a great opportunity. Then my PO would submit me again in December to get off parole, or so he’s told me. Ultimately, staying here another six months isn’t too bad, but I really can’t deal with this living situation. I wasn’t living with my adoptive parents when I was 15 years old, I damn sure don’t want to deal with this bullshit when I’m 30. But being on parole and having no money keeps me locked up here. My room is definitely a much better cell than the ones I’ve been living in for the last decade, though.

If I do get off parole, that still doesn’t really resolve the issues, I just have a few more options and can make a concrete decision about what the fuck I’m gonna do. I mean, even if I do get off parole I may end up staying here another six months or a year, doing the writing tutor job and going to this community college. But, I’d at least have the option of leaving here, trying to get a place in Chicago, going to Champaign, or just running away and joining the carnival More options available, still no money though, but I can make my fucking decision and move forward with it.

I’ve been stuck in this criminal in-”justice” system since I was 16 years old, either in juvenile detention, on probation, in the county jail, in prison, on house arrest or parole. Half my life - and all of my adult life - I’ve been caught up in this system. My one and only concrete, absolute goal or objective that I’ve had since I got out of prison has been to get off parole - not that I don’t have many other goals and objectives, this is just the most important and pressing one in the immediate term.

So now I continue to await the outcome…

UPDATE: 7-11-08 - Had my writing tutor interview yesterday. I think it went well, seems like a great opportunity. Both of the people who interviewed me and are in charge of the writing center said my prison past wasn’t a problem for them, but they still were waiting to hear from “higher ups” concerning the situation. They didn’t even ask me why I went to prison or any of the details of that. They still have a few interviews to finish and then make the final decision, which should come in about 10 days. Still no word on the parole situation either… More waiting!

Ah well, at least I’ve been getting the chance to get out some and do some revolutionary work. Supposed to get together with some comrades to work on a collective writing piece and also get the chance to do some other work for Revolution newspaper today. Its good to be able to get out some and have good discussions and thought provoking conversations, something sorely lacking in my life for so long. Not to mention having some kind of fun instead of sitting in my room all the time. Plus I’d like to have some friends and do stuff. Fucking money, I hate it… But enough of that, here’s to another weekend out and enjoying life some!

And I just started my summer school class last night - Geometry, since I dropped out of high school when I was taking that class when I was 15. Seems ok thus far, really simplistic but I think I like geometry better than most math since its way more visual and spatial.

So… hopefully I’ll be off parole by the end of this month, but if not I probably will be off by the end of the year. Hope its by the end of the month though

UPDATE 6-28-08: Still haven’t heard anything on the parole situation. I’ve got an interview for the writing tutor job in July, and my college sent me another one of these honors thingies for last semester…

I did some work at the IMC Books to Prisoners Project, packing some books up to go out to prisoners. It was quite an experience to be on the opposite side of the Books to Prisoners program - instead of receiving books in a prison cell, I was sending them out to others who are still behind the walls in those cells.

I got to see the University of Illinois campus there, which looked amazing:

We ended up participating in a Copwatch program that they had been doing and expanding in their community - bolstered by the recent acquittal of local activist Patrick Thompson on false charges, stemming from a Copwatch video that Thompson and another local activist, Martel Miller, produced in 2004 and ended up being charged with felony eavesdropping for videotaping police officers in public. We ended up observing about three Champaign PD cars and a University police car stopping a trio of Black youths, who they had handcuffed on the side of the road. Racial profiling and harassment has been a major issue in Champaign-Urbana, with White students being given a pass while the Black and minority community suffers harassment. We stayed to observe the officers conducting the stop, and eventually they let the youths go. Shortly before the youths were freed, a carload of University students drove by and voiced their opinion of the detention of the youths to the officers on the roadside thusly: “Fuck the police! Bitches!”

So I had a wonderful time, and took the train back home after a nice little party for Patrick Thompson’s acquittal. Seeing the great work and community around the IMC down there has really gotten me to strongly consider moving down there and attending the University of Illinois there instead of UIC. But I’ve got soooooo many decisions to make and things to figure out…

Once I got home I received some info in the mail from my college about a writing tutor job that my English professor my first semester (who was totally awesome - thanks Melany!) recommended me for. So, I have to send in the application with two examples of my “academic writing”, then go for an interview in July. Most likely I’ll send my Thesis - Antithesis - Synthesis and A Boy pieces, which I wrote for her class and are some of the better examples of my recent writing. Dunno how the whole prison thing will affect my chances of getting the job, but we will see…

I’ve kind of been curious as to how I would feel about visiting a zoo, considering I’ve spent a large percentage of my life in captivity and have some idea of what it would be like for the animals. For the most part though the animals weren’t in cages or poor living conditions, and they seemed to have some room to move about, though a lot of the living spaces seemed to be made of concrete and I doubt these animals are evolutionarily adapted to walking on concrete for long periods of time… I mean, I think the zoo does some good work but I don’t know that I really like the idea of keeping these animals locked up in captivity.

Here we are helping his parents put in their garden, as we did one time when Peter’s dad was in the hospital when we were kids - and Peter is wearing a pair of shoes that he had at probably the same age, and which ultimately ended up disintegrating spectacularly in the course of gardening

Here are the two old men cooking some vegetables on the grill

Here are a few pics from the zoo:

Gorillas above, as well as a waterfall in the recreated tropical environment where they have a number of apes and monkeys. Below are some black and green poisonous frogs, which are a little hard to see in the pic but look amazing.

Here are some penguins and a sea bird:

Finally a baboon, peacock, polar bear, and some kangaroos gettin’ it on

So, we had a great time, and I’m really going to miss them and the kids, but I’m sure they’ll be back again before too much longer. And once I get off parole I’ll make my way out to Boston to visit them.

While I’m posting I may as well mention my grades from this semester - all A’s except a B in my Algebra class that doesn’t even count towards my GPA.

I should have gotten an A in Algebra too, but I missed it by like 30 points out of 1,000 total points for the class. If I would have actually done some work outside of class and studied I would have easily gotten an A - but there is no one to blame for that but myself. Too many late nights bullshitting around with my friends online Anyhow, a 4.0 GPA is generally considered to be fairly decent, I think… Not bad for my first year of college, I’d say.

No, I’m not ridiculously drunk in that picture Just extremely tired, since I only got about 3 hours sleep before my Algebra final that morning. So my first year of college ended on my 30th birthday. And my parole officer is supposed to submit me to get off parole next month, which will be great if it goes through.

But… I still have no money, and don’t know what the hell I’m gonna end up doing. I’m supposed to take a summer school class and work for my dad this summer, while doing some iPhone software development for my corporation. Ultimately though, I need to figure out what the hell I really want to do within the confines of the (mainly financial) limitations I have to deal with.

Would love to just hop in my car and drive off, wouldn’t mind running away and joining the carnival, but right now as long as I continue to get financial aid to goto college I’ll probably keep doing that. I’ve just been so bored this last semester and not feeling like doing the bullshit homework etc. at all.

I dunno, but I’ve got a lot of shit to figure out. All in all though, I’m doing pretty damn well considering my circumstances for most of my life. Here’s to the future!

Progeny of Isolation, born of that dark crypt wherein boys are cast and this unfinished man was molded

Brought forth in desolation, searching for some mysterious amorphous

Undefined

Elusive solutions evade resolution

Questions lie scattered along the path

As I set out once again for some

Unknown destination